VIRUS ALERT

'Yawner' Virus Spreading Quickly

Sleep researchers are warning computer users about a new virus that is spreading rapidly around the world.
The virus — called "Yawner" — arrives via email, disguised as a note from a friend with a new mp3 audio file attached.
But it’s really a malicious program that attempts to entice the user to fall asleep through a lullaby tune.
Yawner is "wreaking havoc," according to one researcher, having already infected thousands of individuals at major corporations and private homes.
After the virus causes one person to start yawning, the yawns become incredibly infectious, and everybody within the immediate vicinity of the original yawner starts yawning uncontrollably.

Open This File Only If You Are A Complete Idiot.

The virus the starts by wiping out all the caffeine and hyperactive energy in the user’s system, thus causing him/her to become drowsy and yearn for a nap.

The email arrives with the subject line: "Open This File Only If You Are A Complete Idiot."

The message body says:

How are you ?
When I heard this song, I immediately thought about you
I am very harry, I promise you will love it.

The message goes on:

If you open this file, then you are a real idiot.
I mean dumber than anybody could possibly imagine.

The message contains the attachment "yawn.scr." If a user tries to open the file, then a version of "Rock-A-Bye Baby" is automatically played.
After the first track ends, the file breaks into an audio replay of Bill Gates address to the Comdex computer trade show last November and is then followed by a series of opening monologues from the Charles Grodin Show. By the end of the file, the user is sound asleep.

People Actually Admit to Opening It

Peter Schmuck is believed to be the first person to have received the Yawner email and then opened the program. "As soon as I opened it I started yawning, then the person next to me started yawning, then all of a sudden everyone in the office started yawning," explained Schmuck. "Before I knew everyone in the building was yawning out of control."
"I knew after I opened the 'Iloveyou' virus and the 'Kournikova' virus that I probably shouldn’t have opened this one," said Angela Plutz, a part-time manicurist from Omaha, Nebraska, who opened the file even after everybody around her told her a hundred times not to open it.

Virus Seems Unstoppable

The virus has so far proved remarkably effective. "It’s looking pretty bad," said Dr. Steven Slumber, director of research at Sleep Associates Inc.
"There are reports that pretty major companies have seen it and their employees became drowsy and fatigued as a result. You know how contagious it can be once someone starts yawning," he went on before falling fast asleep during his interview with Chortler.
By 4 a.m. this morning, 99% of New York City was asleep. The same staggering numbers of dozy citizens are expected in Asia and Europe later tonight.

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