Take advantage of
Tallahassee Recount Travel's four-year Presidential
package from Austin to Washington! - No experience governing at a national level necessary! - Knowledge of geography and high approval ratings not essential! - High level of spoken English not required!* - Chance to extend stay in 2004! 
Where to Stay: The delightful Maison
Blanche at 1600 Pennsylvania
Avenue, located at the epicenter
of political life in Washington,
allows you the capability to easily overturn environmental,
educational and
abortion legislation you don't agree with --
all within the first week of your stay.
Grant pardons to old political cronies
and affluent donors (a favorite activity of a previous resident),
get driven around
town by fancy limousine all at taxpayer expense,
and attend inaugural balls in your honor (no need to
know how to dance.)
A team of lovely young interns (another favorite with
a previous resident) are on hand to help ensure
your stay is a pleasant one.***We regret to announce that our Lincoln Bedroom Special is no longer available*** 
What to See: After a long campaign
season and grueling Florida recount,
it’s time to
see the sights that the nation’s
capital has to offer.
Why not start with the bastion of conservative compassion
-- the United States Supreme Court. Watch as justices in funny
outfits set the country's legal system back closer to
the Stone Age. You may even have a chance to
join in the fun by slanting the Court
even further to the right than it already is by appointing
more ultra-conservative justices.
Later, make your way up to Capitol Hill and reach out to
both sides by supplying them with nominees that everyone will
agree are a throwback to Republican administrations from
the '70s and '80s. Relive those times with
with the men who later went on to make millions in the private sector,
including Dick Cheney as Vice President,
Dick Rumsfeld as Defense Secretary, and
(fresh from his speaking tour) Colin Powell as Secretary of State.
And There's More! As part of the Presidential Package you'll get
to travel around the world and get lots of neat photo-ops!
Discover that Paris is not only a place
in Texas but a big city in France as well.
Meanwhile, let your staff worry about filling you in on all the pesky
details like the name of the British prime minister, how to
distinguish Budapest from Bucharest, and
where they parked Air Force One -- you're here to have
fun!
* Please note that your chances of a successful application are increased if your father is a former President and your brother governor of a swing state. Contact Katherine Harris for more information. |