 Chortler Features
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BUSINESS
Analyst Believes It Is Time to Reinvest in Tulips
Scott Jurgsen, a botanical analyst at Spiral, Downe, and Faste Securities and Mufflers, said this morning that tulips are poised to make a strong turnaround.
Jurgsen made the comments about tulips, a much-overlooked investment for the past four hundred years, during the morning analyst picks session on the Flower Business Network, which is available at present to a select group cable subscribers in eastern Madagascar.
"From what our projections tell us, there does not seem to be much downside left in tulips," said Jurgsen in an exclusive interview with Chortler.
"The tulip index has remained pretty stagnant for the past couple of hundred years meaning that this sector is set to break free. As a matter of fact, I am planning to sell my house and car and dip into my kidâs college fund and buy me up a whole bunch of tulips right now," he added.
Jurgsen went on to say that a boost in the tulip sector could also have a carry on effect with azaleas and lilacs, yet he stopped short of saying there would be a reciprocal bounce in chrysanthemums.
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