 Chortler Features
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TELEVISION
Top Ten Reasons David Letterman Is Staying at CBS
10) He would have taken over for Ted Koppel but the "Nightline" theme song would have remained.
9) Threat of sending decision to Katherine Harris and possibly the United States Supreme Court if contract negotiations with ABC and CBS were prolonged any further.
8) Paul Shaffer is a little shaky on whoâs who in the current Sri Lankan political quagmire.
7) Most Americans are already getting their news from the "Late Show" than anywhere else as it is.
6) He gets a sandwich named after him at the CBS Snack Bar.
5) Rumored PBS offer would have required him to do four pledge drives per year and host his own cooking show.
4) Option to cut back Top Ten list to Top Five list in three years.
3) He wonât have to listen to Peter Jennings drone on and on about how exciting the Iowa caucuses will be in 2004.
2) Only so many times you can invite State Department spokespeople as guests on a comedy show.
1) It turns out that $31.5 million is a good way for a network to show a talk-show host it cares after all.
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