LISTS


The Man's To-Do List For Today

- change mistresses.

- make it mandatory for people to upgrade to the latest version of my software for no reason.

- declare war on France

- write out the short list of Democratic candidates for 2004.

- get that good-for-nothing son of mine into Yale so, if he can't be a doctor or lawyer, he can at least be a politician. And one day he might even be governor of some state and maybe even president... Nah.

- buy that damn oil company.

- decrease amount of fries they serve with Happy Meals.

- have lawyers contact SEC to see if they can't do anything to ease all those silly rules they have regarding insider trading.

- lay a few thousand people off just for the heck of it.

- place three Madonna songs in the Top 40. No, make that four.

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