Friday, October 09, 2009 09:27:35 AM
AWARDS
The 2009 Chortler Peace Prize Goes to Jessica Simpson
Chortler has decided to award this year's Chortler Peace Prize to Jessica Simpson.
We at Chortler believe that the singer, reality star and former wife of the great Nick Lachey - though narrowly beating out runners-up Muammar Gaddafi, Dick Cheney and Hulk Hogan - is the most deserving candidate for this prestigious award.
In the past year, Ms. Simpson has demonstrated an uncanny ability not to start a world war,
drive over innocent people in an armored tank or shoot defenseless pedestrians on a crowded
street with an AK-47. Moreover, for the past 365 days she has not once spat on a kitten, kicked an old lady in the shins or stolen lunch money from an elementary school student.
The Chortler Peace Prize is handed out every year at the this time following the consumption of 20 shots of Jagermeister by members of our staff.
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