All the Gnus Fit To Sprint
Home April 23, 2002
Chortler Features
Chortler Home
Notes from an American Taliban
Yawner Virus
Missing Vice Presidents Department
Microbore's Response to Settlement
Learning the Condit-ional Tense
Letter from Yurp
Political Chat Room
Highlights of First 100 Days
Welcome to Washington
Ode to Chad
Lessons in Greenspeak
Press Bits
Not So Weak Links

TECH


Gates Contends Case Hampers His Ability to Be World’s First Trillionaire

Bill Gates took the stand Monday at the Microsoft antitrust case arguing that the states case against him will severely hinder his chances of becoming the world’s first trillionaire.

Gates testified that the penalties sought by nine states would undermine the average American’s ability to watch him grow even more exceedingly rich than anybody else who has ever lived.

The states are led by what many Microsoft insiders deem to be an "axis of evil," including Massachusetts, California and the wickedest of them all, Florida.

"Aren’t we forgetting a little something here?" Gates pleaded at the trial. "This case has become more about opening up markets and the consumer’s right of choice and less about me."

"You try raising your kids on less than a hundred billion these days," Gates added passionately.

Much of Gates’ case also rests on the argument that financial channels, such as CNBC and CNNfn, will have nothing to talk about if his net worth continues to stagnate.

Copyright © 2002 postdocme.net

Click Here For The Latest In Hopelessly Erroneous News Coverage From postdocme.net

esigned by
Home Soludium
Site map Chortler -- All the Gnus Fit to Sprint Resources