GRATUITOUS PUBLICITY DEPARTMENT

The Severely Hyped and Overrated Expeditor Revealed

Following months of frantic speculation, postdocme.net can finally announce the new invention that is sure to revolutionize transportation just as sliced rye bread did to the pastrami industry last century.

Formerly known in some circles as "Third Person Singular Pronoun" and later as "Mary Ann," the invention will be officially known as the Severely Hyped and OverratedExpeditor or S.H.O.E.

Asked to explain his new contraption, inventor Jean Ramen said: "The Severely Hyped and Overrated Expeditor empowers a person to go farther and faster. It inspires new ideas about urban spaces, commerce, community, and your next trip to the store. It represents what is possible when people thoughtfully approach problems from new angles, applying vision and creativity."


Image of what the devices looks like (left) and how it might be used in the future (right)

Marketing Potential Seen As Enormous

The Severely Hyped and Overrated Expeditor is essentially an outer covering for the human foot typically having a thick or stiff sole with an attached heel and an upper part of lighter material (as leather).

After placing the device on their feet, users of the Severely Hyped and Overrated Expeditor then place one foot in front of the other to gain acceleration while trying to avoid stepping into gum and other sticky objects.

Business leaders were quick to pick up on an exciting opportunity: "My word, why hadn’t I thought of this before. I’m sure I could exploit workers in Central America and Asia into making these things for next to nothing," said Joe Nike of Beaverton, Oregon.

Certain sports celebrities were also keen to praise the new product: "I’m glad I decided to make a comeback. I bet I could make a fortune advertising these things," added basketball legend Michael Jordan.

The device seems to have its everyday uses as well. "I think I’ll leave my car at home, start getting up at three in the morning and use these thingies on my 20-mile commute. Boy, the fellas at the office will sure be jealous," remarked an excited Steve Gibberman of Bothell, Washington.

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