NEWS HIGHLIGHTSSummary Of Top Stories From Today's New York Times
National
Bush Flies Air Force One By Himself
President George W. Bush flew Air Force One over to Iraq today by himself to deliver three separate aid missions. Yeah, that's right, I saw it myself, dude, with my own eyes.
International
Doctor Finds Cure For SARS
So there was this guy on the subway who was saying that he had found a cure for SARS. He, like, seemed to know what he was talking about, and he kept calling himself a doctor, so I think the story is pretty sound.
Business
Stocks Went Up Or Down Today
According the guy in men's wear over at Wal-Mart, stocks went up today on a strong advance from the tech sector. However, the guy in sporting goods was saying that there was a good chance of a downturn tomorrow due to expected profit taking in blue chips.
Sports
Yankees Win, Maybe
The Yankees beat the Texas Rangers (or was it the Angels, no it was definitely the Rangers) by a score of 3-1, I am pretty sure. At least they were leading the last I checked on the TV, which was in the middle of the seventh inning.
Weather
Great Weather Ahead, Perhaps
Temperatures around the New York City area today will be hot, cold, humid or freezing with sunshine, wind, rain, snow, hail or sleet. I should go out and check once I get done eating these Corn Flakes.