 Chortler Features
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NEWS
Bush Warns Of âNouklarâ Threat
President George W. Bush took time off from his busy handshaking schedule today to cite the growing dangers of "nouklar weapons." Meanwhile, the presidentâs closest advisers were scrambling to find out what exactly a nouklar weapon is.
"The United States of Amurica must take a stand in preventing the risks associated with nouklar weapons. And we must build nouklar deterrents as well," said the President.
After the announcement, panic proceeded to grip the nation as yet another unknown peril was added to the seemingly daily threats to its peace and security.
"The question is why Bush never told us about the nouklar threat before. Nevertheless, the beauty of it is that Eleanor, Morton and I now have something to talk about on next Sundayâs political talk shows," said Fred Barnes, the bespectacled pundit.
The only other reference in the history of the world to a nouklar threat was made by Bushâs father during his administration.
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