 Chortler Features
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LOCAL
Politician Wants to Spend Less Time with Family
In a surprise announcement, John Mirkin, a two-term state senator from Nebraska, has announced that he has no plans to give up his seat before the next election and would rather stay in office so that he can spend even less time with his family.
"I need to have more quality time with my mistress and political cronies, dining at expensive restaurants and traveling on junkets to various points around the globe," explained Mirkin.
"Constantly heading back to my nagging wife and bratty kids is taking its toll on the people I need most to win re-election and pass the 50% pay rise initiative I am sponsoring in the state legislature," added Mirkin from his room at an exclusive beach resort in the Caribbean.
(Mirkin is presently in the Caribbean as part of a Nebraska delegation designed to enhance trade between Nebraska political entourages and Caribbean nightclubs.)
Immediately after Mirkin returns from his Caribbean trip he will begin a six-week fact-finding mission to France in order determine how Parisian restaurants and hotels can benefit more from Nebraska products.
Three sophomore cheerleaders from the University of Nebraska will be accompanying Mirkin on that important mission.
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