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NEWS


Falwell Outraged By ‘Openly Gay Purple M&M’s’

Mars Inc. came under fire from the Rev. Jerry Falwell, the television evangelist and outspoken gay rights adversary, Sunday when he urged Americans to boycott the candy giant for its decision to add the color purple to M&M’s.

"I’m calling on God-fearing Americans everywhere to show their disapproval of the addition of this symbol of homosexuality to what was once such a wholesome product," said Falwell during his weekly television broadcast.

Pat Robertson quickly joined forces with Falwell, saying he had always been "suspicious" of the product’s spokescharacters, a pair of M&M’s who "speak in masculine voices, wear no clothing and are never seen with women."

"I cannot hide my sorrow when I think of America’s youth being subjected to this subtle homosexual recruitment ploy every time they reach for a bag of their favorite candy," said Falwell.

Not only has Mars introduced the color that has become the symbol of the Godless gay and lesbian community, according to Falwell, but they’ve gone so far as to introduce it in a pastel.

"I assure you, the whole selection process of the new color is nothing more than a gay caucus," proclaimed Falwell.

Meanwhile, Franklin Graham also added his support to the boycott, arguing the candy’s slogan, ‘melts in your mouth, not in your hand,’ had constantly been a source of distress to him.

Phil E. Stein
postdocme.net

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