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Letter From Cyberspace

A friend writes: I never thought I could earn $40,000 a week from home and pay off my mortgage and automobile loans overnight.

But as I watched my penis size double and my breast size triple while losing 60 pounds in a week on a diet of bacon fat and Budweiser, developing a rock-solid abdomen and a body builder’s frame, I had time to think about my investments in a sure-fire, heretofore unknown Internet/oil/biotech company trading on the Kenyan Stock Exchange.

The extra money allowed me to earn three college degrees beside my hot, horny 18-year-old classmates, Jenny and Heather – not to mention the thousands of attractive singles who were already looking for me -- and all at 0.0% APR financing.

Now I can enjoy my free time by curing my herpes, snoring and impotency, finding out about anyone’s past, enhancing my memory and predicting the sex of my future baby.

All the best,

- The Guy You Never Met Before

P.S. Your email address was obtained after you visited a site of which you have no recollection and probably doesn’t exist. If you wish to unsubscribe, then we wish you the best of luck – unfortunately, nobody has found a solution for that yet.

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