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PROGRAMS
Today On Iraqi Television
7:00 Baghdad Today -- Host Peter Arnett looks over the past day's successes by the Iraqi troops and the failures of the American army.
9:00 Saddam and Son -- The ever-popular sitcom involving a father and son living in massive junk heap that was once a collection of royal places.
9:30 We're over here! Shoot us! -- Iraqi television's newest reporter Geraldo Rivera provides live, up-to-the-minute accounts of where American troops are and how they can be attacked.
10:00 Speech from Saddam Double I -- older, Groucho Marx-type Saddam double reads a three-hour script on the glories of the regime and the evils of the invading American infidels.
1:00 Blank Screen -- our daily program featuring nothing but a blank screen while staff run for cover perform maintenance. Today's blank screen color: grey.
5:00 Speech from Saddam Double II -- younger, suaver Tom Selleck-type double reads a three-hour script on the glories of the regime and the evils of the invading American infidels.
8:00 Iraqi Survivor -- in the largest reality show ever made for television, 20 million people compete to be liberated from an evil tyrant, while continual gunfire and bombings follow their every move.
10:00 Nightly Fireworks Display -- Another excerpt of the $75 billion American pyrotechnics exhibition showing throughout Baghdad, now in its second week.
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