 Chortler Features
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WEATHER
Houston Buried Under Five Feet of Shredded Documents
Houston residents woke up this morning to find themselves covered under five feet of shredded documents. The unexpected avalanche of debris resulted from the sudden implosion of Mount Enron in the financial heart of the city.
Mount Enron had until recently towered over the Houston economic skyline. A few weeks ago, however, it was discovered that Mount Enron had no foundation on which to hold itself up. The revelation that it was hollow underneath (and at the top) caused the previously mighty structure to collapse.
Residents were urged to stay home today as forecasters predicted more fallout from the Mount Enron implosion. Meteorological experts said the freak weather conditions in the Texas metropolis were being compounded by the appearance of the Andersen current, a powerful force that his known to shred any and all documents found in its path, and gusts of hot air stemming from both sides of the political aisle in Washington, D.C.
"Very rarely do structures implode with as rapidly as Mount Enron. Normally it is a slower disintegration process as with the recent plunge of Mount Kmart in the Blue Light Mountains," said Rob Watson, who is not a real meteorologist but plays one on TV.
"It was so treacherous today I could hardly get my car out of my driveway. It wasnât until I decided to cover my driveway with my Enron shares that I could get enough traction to get moving. I knew those shares would be good for something one day," Houston resident Fred Parsons told Chortler.
The piles of shredded paper were so high in some places around the Houston metropolitan area that meteorological analysts say they continue to have no visibility going forward, which coincidentally happened to be the case before Mount Enron gave way.
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