 Chortler Features
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ANNOUNCEMENTS
Cheney Retires From Hide-and-Seek Competition
The international hide-and-seek community is losing one of its top competitors as United States Vice President Dick Cheney has decided to withdraw from future competitions.
Cheney chose to abandon the sport after effectively knocking himself out of contention with a high-profile sighting last week on The Tonight Show and an appearance at the Olympic ice hockey final Sunday between Canada and the United States.
The news should be greeted with relief by Gary Condit, the present leader in the international hide-and-seek standings, who had been receiving stiff competition recently from Cheney. Osama bin Laden, the terrorist mastermind and epitome of all things evil, will stay in second place. The last remaining American liberal will now move into third.
"He was one darn fine competitor. The world of hide-and-seek is losing a true talent," said an unnamed member of the congressional panel investigating the collapse of Enron.
Cheney demonstrated potential to become the dominant player in the sport towards the end of 2001 when it took the entire American press corps several months to try and locate him -- unsuccessfully.
Copyright © 2002 postdocme.net
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