 Chortler Features
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GERALDO'S NOTEBOOK 
Dispatches From Our Man In Afghanistan
Live, firsthand reports from the action taking place several hundred miles away...
Nightfall. I can see empty shells all around me. I knew I should have chosen a less boisterous place to eat at tonight than the only seafood restaurant in Kabul. One shell just parted my hair. (And where is a star network journalist going to find a $300 stylist in Afghanistan?)
Six weeks here in Afghanistan and I sure could use from a break from the fighting -- if only the satellite television system here would show something other than The Jerry Springer Show or Cleveland Brownsâ games.
Still, it is certainly great to be back in action as a foreign correspondent and not sitting behind some desk. I havenât felt this close to the news since I covered O.J. Simpsonâs frantic freeway chase from the New Jersey turnpike, or when I personally witnessed the Kennedy assassination from Cleveland, or there was the time I reported on the Charles and Diana wedding from Las Vegasâ¦
Sure, switching networks meant that I would have to forego the 1,000th discussion with Alan Dershowitz on the Gary Condit-Chandra Levy case, but in this business you have to make sacrifices.
Roger Ailes, the president of Fox News Channel, was delighted to have me onboard with the new network. "Welcome to Fox!" he exclaimed. "Great to have you with us, Geraldo. Hereâs your ticket to Afghanistan." So I packed up my notebook, my recorder and my automatic assault weapon and caught my flight to Kabul.
And for my part it is fantastic to finally be with a network that focuses in more on what the public has not seen nearly enough of in their news coverage over the past several years: me.
Now America and the rest of the free world get to see that we are fighting this war not only to stop tyranny but to give every freedom-loving American the chance to see me. The chance to see me dodging bullets, rolling in the sand and wearing my suede bush hat (made especially large to fit my head.)
After all, no matter how hard the terrorists may try, they are not going to stop the public from having instant exposure to me all the time, whenever it wants. And canât we all draw a sigh of relief in knowing that, despite the horrors that occurred on September 11, some things about the American way of life just canât be changed?
-- Geraldo
Copyright © 2001 postdocme.net
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