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NEWS
Golf Becomes Olympic Sport; Men With Breasts Go For Gold
Men with sizable breasts, a group long overlooked by the International Olympic Committee, are celebrating today with the announcement that golf will become an Olympic sport at the 2008 Summer Games in Beijing.
From the bounce-whichever-way-the-wind-blows flappers of John Daly to the perky bosom of Phil Mickelson, amply breasted male golfers will now have an opportunity to compete for gold -- in the same way real athletes do.
"Finally, I can let my boobs hang down on the road to collecting as many medals as Mark Spitz," declared Colin "Mrs. Doubtfire" Montgomerie, the man with the biggest breasts in professional golf for the past ten years.
Among the many medals to be awarded in the golf competition will be the tee-to-green slow walking category, the sulking over a missed putt category and the tightly contested cigarette-beer combined consumption over 18 holes category.
"Too bad it wasnât an Olympic sport in my day. Iâd have thirty gold medals by now," rued Raymond Floyd, considered by many to be the greatest large breasted male golfer of all time.
Though the introduction of golf into the Olympic Games is still six years away, thousands of American Ryder Cup fans are already said to be brushing up on how to say "Nice tits Colin!" in Chinese.
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