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CINEMA


Administration to Slap Tariffs on Depressing European Films

In the latest stage of the escalating trade dispute between Europe and the United States, American officials have decided to place tariffs on one of Europe’s leading exports -- incredibly depressing films.

Contending that makers of depressing American films were facing unfair competition from their European counterparts, the Bush administration has chosen to impose 30 percent tariffs on foreign films that concern themes likely to depress American audiences or, in other words, all European films.

European filmmakers countered that the move by the United States was discriminatory because, as Europeans and given the history of Europe, they were unable to produce anything other than depressing films.

"C’est un outrage! Ou est le brie?" said French director Jean-Jacques Triste, who won wide acclaim at the 1993 Greater Peoria Film Festival for his twelve-hour film, "La Vie Despondente."

Europeans have dominated the depressing film sector, with the sole exception of Tom Green's "Freddy Got Fingered," since the advent of the motion picture.

Meanwhile, members of the American Psychiatric Association protested the administration’s action and claimed there could be a potential backlash to their business should attendance at depressing films decrease.


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