 Chortler Features
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CLASSIFIEDS
2006 World Cup Referees Needed
Do you pour salt into your coffee and top your potato chips with a tablespoon of sugar? Did you think the Russians outperformed the Canadians in pairs figure skating at the Winter Olympics? Do you like giving grown men yellow and red cards for no reason?
Then you may be qualified for a job at the next World Cup.
Illogical individuals able to make the wrong decision at the crucial time are being sought to fill positions now.
If you have the ability to discount an otherwise unobstructed and perfectly fair goal without the slightest hesitation, then you may be the person for the job.
If you can fall for a lousy acting job by a star player trying to fake an injury, then you may have what it takes to officiate at a world class level.
We guarantee
-- free round-trip tickets to next World Cup
-- funky uniforms and a neat whistle bound to be the envy of everyone in your country of origin
-- instant hero status in host country
Apply now! No interpersonal skills necessary!
Send your résumé now to the following address:
Florida State Elections Office
Tallahassee, Florida
Warning: Job acceptance may lead to persona non grata status in Spain, Italy, Portugal, United States, Belgiumâ¦
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