FLORIDA
Fisher-Price Wins Florida Ballot Design Contract
The Florida Elections Commission has awarded Fisher-Price a contract to develop a less confusing balloting system for the state in the run-up to November's elections. More...

ART
Poetry Loses Famous Figure; Man From Nantucket Is Dead
The literary world is mourning the loss of one of its giants today after news that Richard Long, subject of the limerick, "There Once Was a Man from Nantucket," has died. More...

ONLINE ROMANCE
A Firsthand Look At True Internet Love
Today postdocme.net examines a chatroom conversation between online lovebirds Jeff and Jenny, the hottest 'item' on the World Wide Web. More...

NEWS
20 Geritol Dealers Busted Outside Rolling Stones Concert
BOSTON – In what is thought to be the largest ever operation of its kind, Boston police have apprehended 20 people suspected of pushing Geritol outside the opening of the Rolling Stones "Licks" tour. More...

WORLD NEWS
North Korea Downgraded To Axis Of Pretty Darn Bad
PYONGYANG – Thousands marched in the streets of the North Korean capital today after hearing the announcement by the International Council on Wickedness that their country has been downgraded. More...

NEWS.
Man Goes Ahead And Sues Everyone
A man has filed a lawsuit against fast-food restaurants, network television, garlic growers, brokerage houses and steroid manufacturers amongst other organizations for being fat, stupid, poor and bald as well as for having chronic body odor and a half-inch penis. More...

ON LANGUAGE
The Difference Between Lay and Lie
We find there is significant confusion over the use of the words lay and lie. Many have taken the words to mean the same thing, and they do in most cases. Nevertheless, we would like to clear up the differences. More...