ENRICHMENT

Get Rich Quick in Three Easy Steps

Step One: Join The Board at Enron

Want to become a multi-millionaire in no time? Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? But for those who have what it takes to become top executives at Enron, reaching your financial dreams is not out of the question.
Let’s face it: Not everyone is capable of making it in today’s business world. The corporate boardroom is a pretty cutthroat place. And not everyone can lead a company down from $90 a share to below $1 a share in the span of a few months. But, if you think you can pull it off, then why not consider becoming an Enron executive.

Step Two: Learn to Say Ridiculously Large Numbers With a Straight Face

In order to be a top Enron official you must have a good head for numbers. Any numbers will do – the higher the better. After all, Enron didn’t get to be one of America’s wealthiest companies by thinking up low numbers.
Getting to know large numbers is one thing, but can you say those numbers with a straight face on CNBC, Lou Dobbs Moneyline, or your quarterly conference calls with investors and financial analysts. For instance, can you say "50 percent year on year growth" or "22nd straight quarterly rise in profits" without cracking up? Can you overstate your company’s profits by $600 million?
And, if you are able to sound convincing enough, Big Five accountancy firms will back those numbers up to make it sound even more credible. What’s more, top investment firms will give you a "buy" or even a "great buy" rating without even asking to see what is behind the numbers.

Step Three: First Find Then Get to Know Dick Cheney

This is by far the most challenging step. But though he may be just about one of the hardest guys around to locate these days, making the special effort to get to know Dick Cheney will be an extra help. Getting close with the vice president allows you to the opportunity to advise and form the country’s energy policy and, for the lucky few, may even provide the chance to actually sit on Cabinet, thereby strengthening your hand even further.

So what are you waiting for?

There you have it. Don’t worry that thousands of small investors, employees and pension funds might get burned. Ask your local oil lobbyist for more information today.

Copyright © 2001 postdocme.net