Investigators Pinpoint Cheney Location to Within Twenty-Mile Area
Sources tell Chortler that investigators believe they have narrowed Vice President Dick Cheneyâs whereabouts to within a twenty mile radius around the Washington D.C. area.
Numerous concerned citizens have considered it their duty to help find Cheney, who has rarely been seen since the September 11 terrorist attacks. In addition, several media outlets have chosen to send scores of reporters to cover the hunt for Cheney, since network news audiences have started to drop as the war in Afghanistan drags on.
Furthermore, a team of United States Special Forces is said to be on constant patrol around the areas where Cheney might be hiding in an effort to find the missing vice president.
Undercover special forces disguised as executives from the oil industry join the hunt for Cheney
Unsolicited help
Unconfirmed reports say that a special team of Florida vote counters may be brought in just for the sake of confusing matters further.
Former Secretary of State Alexander Haig has also telephoned the White House to say that he is once again ready to take charge, if needed.
Investigators fear that Cheney might use a disguise in an attempt to escape from the media spotlight
Condit may offer assistance
Search teams also seeking the support of Representative Gary Condit, Democrat from California. "Mr. Condit has developed great expertise in the field of missing persons over the past few months. Even before the tragedy of September 11, he was the person we would turn to for advice," said Detective Connie Chung of the self-appointed morality police.
Sources tell Chortler that investigators believe they have narrowed Vice President Dick Cheneyâs whereabouts to within a twenty mile radius around the Washington D.C. area.
