EDITORIAL


Why We Should Boycott The French

Today's editorial comes from Bob Cansado, 46, of Newark, New Jersey.

If it weren't for the French, I wouldn't be fat, stupid and bald.

That's right. You heard me.

And I'll tell you another thing. If it weren't for those goddamn cheese-eating surrender monkeys, I wouldn't be unemployed, suffer from a serious case of B.O., and still be living with my parents.

If it weren't for those pompous Sartre readers, I wouldn't be consuming eight Big Macs a day and washing them down with a case of Budweiser.

If it weren't for those good-for-nothing Burgundy sippers, I wouldn't be watching 16 hours of TV a day. Nor would I have invested what little money I did have in Pets.com and eToys.

And one last thing. If it weren't for those useless frogs, I wouldn't still be a virgin.

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