 Chortler Features
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WEATHER
Flood Warning Around McCovey Cove
Marine scientists and environmentalists are warning of the danger of possible floods around McCovey Cove, the inlet behind the San Francisco Giants' Pac Bell Park, if Barry Bonds continues to hit home runs at his present rate.
Scientists believe that the accumulation of baseballs in the body of water behind right field could cause a significant rise in current water levels.
"So far it looks like there is nothing to stop Bonds this season. The only hope we have is for a release of more hot air from the mouth of Bud Selig that might make the water evaporate," said Dr. Bernard Lautfurz, who is not a real marine scientist but plays one on television.
Bonds is presently on a pace to break the single-season home run record, the all-time home run record and the record for the number of adjectives the Giantsâ announcer will use to describe the feat.
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