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MAILBAG
Letter From Cyberspace
A friend writes: I never thought I could earn $40,000 a week from home and pay off my mortgage and automobile loans overnight. More...
PRESS RELEASE
Richard J. 'Dick' Cretin To Leave Chortler's Board
We are sad to announce the departure of Richard A. "Dick" Cretin, who has resigned from Chortlerâs board in order to spend more time with his family -- eight members of which happen to reside at the luxurious minimum security prison he will soon call home. More...
UPDATE
Notice To Our Loyal Customers
Because of vast shifts in international weather patterns over the past decade, we at the Chortler have decided to rename some of our quality products. For example, our âWinter Freshâ breath mints will now become âJuly Chill.' More...
SPORTS
Doctors Fail To Separate Nike Ads From Tiger Woods
Doctors working to remove two advertisements permanently lodged to golfer Tiger Woods admitted defeat early Friday. More...
NEWS
Fans Honor The âKing Of Klezmerâ
Tens of thousands of fans flocked to Miami Beach this week to pay tribute to Elkin Pressman, the man many will always regard as the "King of Klezmer." More...
LETTERS
My Son Couldnât Vouch For His Companyâs Statements Becauseâ¦
Dear Chairman Pitt, My son Jimmy, the president and CEO of Spinron Corporation (NYSE:SCAM), was unable to meet todayâs SEC deadline for signing off on his companyâs financial statements. More...
POLL
72% of Forgotten Celebrities Support Military Action in Iraq
A survey of washed-up, forgotten celebrities shows that 72 percent of them are in favor of military action in Iraq. More...
NEWS
'Coffee Soothes and Relaxes, ALRIGHT!?!' Says Coffee Lobby
A new study put out by the American Coffee Drinkers Association claims that coffee calms the nerves and eases tension. More...
BIZ
WorldCom Finds Another $3.3 Billion⦠Socks⦠Keysâ¦
WorldCom said today it had uncovered $3.3 billion in additional accounting irregularities, an equivalent number of pens, 80 million socks that are lacking a pair and the set of keys you misplaced last Sunday. More...
NEWS
Bob Responsible For Worldâs Problems
Responsibility for all the problems that currently face the world still points to one man -- Bob. More...
TECH
Microsoft Reveals Windows Code, Secrets To World Peace
Microsoft revealed hundreds of pieces of proprietary code today in another step towards maintaining its long-standing image of being "just an overall nice company." More...
We're the 'Funny Site of the Day' for August 7, 2002 at About.com.
SERIES
Life With The Greenspans: The Taxicab Ride
In this episode of "Life with the Greenspans," we see Alan finishing breakfast and preparing to leave for work. We join him as he hails a cab outside his home. More...
NEWS
Manâs Schedule Remains Empty Despite Switch To Bisexuality
Contrary to his hopes that he might double his chances of getting a date, Bob Cansado, 46, of Cleveland, Ohio, still has plenty of open space on his calendar after his announcement last week that he is bisexual. More...
SHOW BIZ
Jennifer Lopez To Cut Back On Male Fantasy Workload
Jennifer Lopez, the sensual celebrity who has starred in over six trillion sexual fantasies since 1993, announced today that she plans to the reduce the amount of time she spends lodged in the male imagination. More...
BUSINESS
Scandals Are Giving Greed A Bad Name, Say Business Execs
Leaders of corporate America admitted today that greed is starting to show the strain of months of business scandals and is suffering from a severe image problem. More...
HEALTH
Researchers Assert Regular Sexual Activity Healthy, Or So They Hear
In a report released today by researchers at the University of Eastern West Virginia, regular sexual intercourse can reduce stress, boost confidence and create a more positive mental outlook â or so they have been told. More...
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