Trying to get clues regarding upcoming episodes of LOST is like trying to shake the “seven herbs and spices” out of a piece of Colonel Sanders’ chicken. What we do know is the title: ‘The Last Recruit”. Chances are it won’t have any scene we could possibly predict…but then again, who knows? Below are the top five scenes that COULD occur in “The Last Recruit”.

5) Sawyer gets killed by the Smoke Monster wearing Locke’s skin. Meanwhile, Jack-in-the-sideways-reality gets a taste of the Smoke Monster’s real temperament after operating on the critically injured Locke, only to have him turn to smoke and skip out on the bill.  Probability of that happening: not likely. Sure, the L.A. smog is a perfect hiding place for a Smoke Monster, but if stabbing him in the chest “before he has a chance to say anything” is the only way to kill him, then he’s toast once he gets to East L.A.  An even less likely scenario: Jack and Locke have a tender moment together remembering their time on the Island and their long-running affection for each other. Even though that would fit nicely into the “it’s-all-about-love” mantra the producers are circulating these days, ABC would likely have a cow over that storyline. More likely: Jack fixes Locke’s paralysis then Locke goes vigilante on Desmond for running him over in the first place. The most alarming thing I can see about all the main characters ending up in a hospital at the same time…the ending of St. Elsewhere.

 4) The Smoke Monster plays hacky sack with Sawyer’s head for his wise-mouth. Meanwhile, Vincent, the MIA dog last seen living with Rose and Bernard runs into Locke’s camp and barks furiously like Lassie as Hurley interprets. “What Vincent? Desmond’s in the well and Locke pushed him in? What’s that Vincent? Locke, The Smoke Monster, is going to kill us all and suck our souls into Limbo? And that’s not all? The Sideways Universe isn’t real, it’s just a trap, a pocket universe created by The Monster to trap our souls for all eternity….?”
That’s probably not likely because those would actually be answers that would progress the plot. What will probably happen is a mysterious new character will be introduced who has all the answers but doesn’t share and is discovered to be “The Last Recruit”. Back story, anyone?

3) The Smoke Monster instructs Sayid to kill that increasingly annoying Sawyer and put his head on a stake as a warning to The Others. Meanwhile, on the other Island, Widmore laments the loss of his despised son-in-law Desmond and in a blind rage begins tossing random techs into the electromagnetic chamber, frying them like flies hitting a bug-zapper. OK, probably not. That entire “Desmond is special because he can withstand this much EM” was a lame plot device anyway. More likely, Widmore’s number one tech, “Zoey”, allows her neckline to plummet even further…just like “Juliet” did before she was finally killed off the show. Juliet had a nice pair, too, and they just unceremoniously dumped her down a freaking well. Imagine the horrible death that awaits less endowed new-comer Zoey. Unless it’s just another red herring and she’s the “recruit with all the answers” theorized in Number 4. In that case, WE’LL have to kill her. And the producers, too.

2) Kate stumbles upon the dismembered remains of Sawyer scattered about in the jungle. And meanwhile, back on the submarine, Jinn overhears Widmore putting two and two together: “Hey, these other Oceanic 815 survivors jumped around in time and didn’t die of a brain aneurysm, so maybe I can use one of them instead. Guards! Have Jinn bathed and brought to my quarters!” This wouldn’t be the first time Jinn’s jumped overboard, but after all he’s been through, he’s liable to open up a can of whoop-ass before he goes. Likelihood…zero. It would be cool though. What will probably happen is Jinn will end up just a footnote in this episode as he just looks on from the sidelines like he has for most of the series. But, in a sideways-alternate-reality, he’s in a remake of “Hawaii 5.0” with a lot more lines.   

1)  The fake Locke whispers to Jack that Sawyer’s been moving in on Kate, causing Jack to finally lose it and crack Sawyer’s skull like a lighthouse mirror. Observing intently, The Smoke-I-Can’t-Kill-Anyone-Directly-Monster laughs manically. Meanwhile…Ben and Richard suffer a fate worse than death on their way to blow up the plane.  Realizing they were once highly pertinent characters central to the plot now reduced to a phony suicide mission (with a Johnny-come-lately, insignificant character named Miles along for comic relief), they sudden see the figurative “red-shirts’ they are wearing. Recognizing the universal sign of death in fiction, Richard runs off into the jungle screaming…again. However, Ben just lies, telling Miles the Smoke Monster always attacks from the rear, effectively convincing Miles to take the lead while he slips away into the jungle himself. No? Then how about this? Miles and the gang come upon the piles of bodies ripening in the sun and he is asked to do the smelly work of finding out how they died. He touches one body, flinches, convulses and begins speaking. Probably correct….but then again, you’ll have to wait until next week to find out what he said.

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