Incredibly Trivial Celebrity News

Jennifer Aniston Dropped Something

Paparazzi lenses were aflutter early this morning in a desperate scramble to be the first to capture an image of an item which fell from Jennifer Aniston’s designer handbag as she was leaving her lavish Malibu mansion with her hunky new beau Paul Sculfor.

Aniston’s publicists have refused numerous media requests to disclose what the item was. What is known at this time is that seconds after the item fell to the ground Sculfor alerted Aniston of the situation by saying: “Jen, I think you’ve dropped something.”

“Oh, yes, so I have,” Aniston replied.

Aniston proceeded to kneel down, pick the item up and place it back into her handbag.

Two years after her marriage to Brad Pitt and eons after the megahit sitcom “Friends”, America’s darling still captures the public’s imagination through her sweetness, wholesomeness and warmth.

Coffee Consumed At Britney Spears Home

We can confirm that a cup of coffee – similar to the one pictured here – was imbibed at Britney Spears’s Malibu mansion some time between the hours of 10 and 11 yesterday morning.

A source close to the pop star recounts that Britney opened a cupboard door, picked out a clean cup and then poured the coffee almost to the top of the aforementioned cup – but not quite all the way because she wanted to leave some room for cream and sugar.

After mixing the cream and sugar into the beverage, Spears put the cup down and decided more sugar was needed.

Fifteen minutes later, according to the source, Spears had finished her coffee. The cup was placed in the kitchen sink with the purported intention of having it washed at an undisclosed future time.

Lindsay Lohan Orders Extra Topping On Pizza

Lindsay Lohan’s eating patterns were thrown into turmoil last night after the young starlet unexpectedly ordered an extra topping on her pizza while dining at a trendy Los Angeles eatery.

Close watchers of Lohan’s prandial proclivities were caught entirely off-guard as the young actress/socialite asked for pepperoni and onions on her pizza only to call the waiter back 30 seconds later to add: “and green peppers.”

While the request for an additional topping was unforeseen and off-putting to her fellow diners, it was nevertheless in keeping with Lohan’s consistently erratic behavior in recent months.

Paris Hilton Stops At Traffic Light On The Way To Prison

In an “Incredibly Trivial Celebrity News” exclusive we can reveal that the car carrying Paris Hilton stopped at a traffic light.

According to our sources, the driver of Hilton’s vehicle saw the light go from green to yellow.

In the harrowing seconds that followed the driver was forced to make a crucial decision that would ultimately determine whether Hilton would arrive at her destination one minute earlier or not.

He chose to stop. Hilton, her driver and the rest of her entourage then waited for the light to turn green again before proceeding.

We spoke to an expert on traffic light psychology who told us that it is quite common for drivers who see a yellow light to assume that a red light will soon follow.

Britney Spears Changes Channels

The unpredictable train wreck that has become Britney Spears was evidenced yet again this past week.

For reasons unbeknownst to observers who spend far too much to their time observing these things, the pop star switched channels a total of five times during a 30-minute period Tuesday afternoon.

Spears surprised everyone by switching from “Oprah” (before a commercial break!) over to a program about Bali on the Travel Channel, then to Fox News, then back to “Oprah” again, and finally onto a “Hogan’s Heroes” rerun, which she watched through to its completion.