 Chortler Features
|
|
TRAFFIC
Travel Advisory: Traffic Leaving Andersen Extremely Heavy
Travelers are advised to use caution when leaving Arthur Andersen. Eyewitness reports claim the rush to leave the company has intensified so much over the course of the past week that there is now nightmarish traffic congestion outside its headquarters.
A ten-firm pileup was reported early this morning when a multinational pharmaceutical company collided with a retail firm in a race to get onto the exit ramp leaving Andersen.
Longtime observers say that they have not seen such a hurry to get out of a particular area since Roseanne Barr decided to sing the national anthem before a San Diego Padres game in 1990.
In addition to the congestion, driving is reported to be quite treacherous following the accumulation several feet of shredded documents that have fallen on roads in recent months.
However, despite the clogged conditions departing Andersen, there has been absolutely no traffic heading in the opposite direction.
In an effort to limit congestion out of the building, there are reports that Andersen might consider scheduling departure times for its onetime clients: media clients will be asked to leave at 1 p.m., technology clients at 2 p.m., basic industry clients at 3 p.m., etc.
There is no confirmation as yet that the last person out of Andersen has been requested to turn out the lights.
Copyright © 2002 postdocme.net
| |
 |
|
