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LISTS
Al Gore's To-Do List For Today
1) Walk dog.
2) Shed boring guy image by doing something extremely wild like, say, splitting an infinitive.
3) Think of a third thing to do.
4) See if dog wants to go for a walk again.
5) Remember that dog gets annoyed when I keep pestering him to see if he wants to go for a walk.
6) Monitor beard growth.
7) Report findings on beard growth to special committee I have set up on beard growth.
8) Prepare fantasy State of the Union address.
9) Tell the American people once and for all whether or not I will or won't decide whether or not to say I am not saying I am not running in 2004.
10) Check on the dog.
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