LETTERS
Re: Reno 911: Miami, Opening February 23rd
Ladies and Gentlemen,
On behalf of the Reno Sheriffâs Department, we would like to address the
film entitled Reno 911!: Miami. THIS FILM IS NOT ENDORSED IN
ANY WAY BY THE RENO SHERIFFâS DEPARTMENT.
We were told by the good people (pronounced: dirty liars) at Twentieth
Century Fox that the documentary film about our trip to the National Police
Convention in Miami Beach would be called: American Heroes: South
Beach Edition.
Turns out this was classic Hollywood bull****. The film that has been made
from the footage of us is an outrageous web of lies. The brave men and
women of the Reno Sheriffâs Department have been edited together in a way
that makes us look like weâre brain damaged. (We, arenât!)
YES, there were some unfortunate events that took place during our time in
Miami. Yes, people got hurt. Yes, property got destroyed. And yes, one nude
person and some passers-by got parts of an exploded narwhale on them.
But... the truth is: we also did a lot of good. And, none of us is sure it was
really a narwhale. It might have been a sperm whale, or some other kind of
whale.
We would also like to address the title of the film.
Reno 911!: Miami
WTF? That must be the stupidest title in the history of cinema. Thatâs like
calling something Las Vegas Justice Minneapolis. Or Philadelphia
Emergency St. Louis. IT DOESNâT MAKE ANY SENSE.
If you understand the title, please call us, because we do not.
We urge you to tell the Fox and Twentieth Century Fox people to STOP
THE LIES.
Your servant,
Lt. Jim Dangle
Reno Sheriffâs Depatment
Reno, NV
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