Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006 10:32:13 AM
RESULTS Top Entries from postdocme.net's 2nd Annual Say Something Nice About Bill O'Reilly Contest
Thanks to everyone who entered our contest. There were
so many nice things people had to say about Bill O'Reilly that
we couldn't include them all here. The winner will receive
a Reservoir
Dogs video game.
Here are the top entries:
He hasn't flashed his genitals at any paparazzi.
Science teachers love him - after watching him for five minutes, students understand why nature abhors a vacuum.
Bill O'Reilly did not murder Nicole Brown Simpson.
He's willing to help Ann Coulter lose her virginity.
Unlike 2005, he did not invite terrorists to attack a major American city.
His jowls jiggle, and although not merrily like those of Santa Claus or even a bowl full of jelly,
but more like a tarnished platter piled with watery aspic stuccoed with a skin of rancid cottage cheese,
they do jiggle.
Bill doesn't shed.
He didn't include a pop-up of lil' Bill in his childrens book.
He gave us Stephen Colbert!
Despite all his animated gestures, Bill has never impaled anyone with his pen (unlike some people
I know, Ms. Grace!).
He was a harmless baby in 1949-1950
He has a nice wardrobe.
He balances every story by letting opposing views participate -
conservative as well as reactionary.
He is the tree that never bends - in a storm of facts.
Without him, Al Franken wouldn't have had such a snazzy book cover,
great material for said book, or lawsuit to boost sales.
He has not embarassed Peabody Award winners (and no Polk winners either, since he didn't win one of those either).
He's given the world new uses for falafels.
He didn't get slapped with a sexual harassment lawsuit this year.
He hasn't flashed his genitals at any paparazzi.
