Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005 12:26:10 PM
TRANSLATION The Michael Jackson Trial Comes To An End
As the world tries to absorb the decision made by jurors in the Michael Jackson trial,
our team of reporters with far
too much time on their hands translated remarks made by the leading players in the courthouse.
Jackson Attorney Thomas Mesereau: Michael is very down to earth.
Translation: I love saying that with a straight face.
Jackson Attorney Thomas Mesereau: I was convinced all along the jury would find him not guilty.
Translation: Okay. Show's over. Is that an ambulance I hear?
Jackson Attorney Thomas Mesereau: Michael Jackson's going to move forward.
Translation: Well, we know is going to be moving anyway. Probably out of Neverland once
he sees my bill.
Prosecutor Tom Sneddon: I probably would not shy away from it if another case came forward.
Translation: I love saying that with a straight face.
Prosecutor Tom Sneddon: In 37 years, I've never quarrelled with a jury's verdict.
Translation: D**n jury!!! What were they thinking?
Prosecutor Tom Sneddon: We're not going to look back and apologize for what we've done.