Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005 05:54:29 AM
TRANSLATIONS Paris Hilton To Wed Paris Latsis
It's true. The dream couple, the greatest romantic pairing in the history of the universe
are getting married. And what grand event would be complete without a translation
from our team of reporters with far too much time on their hands. Today
they dig
out the hidden meanings and symbolism in the words spoken by the Parises as they await what will no doubt be a
marvelous future together.
Paris Hilton: I'm so in love and grateful to have found such an honest and loyal person.
Translation: Now if I could only remember his name.
Paris Hilton: He writes me love letters every day.
Translation: But then again, he could be writing love letters to himself.
Paris Latsis: She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. I feel like the luckiest man in the world.
Translation: Hey, just because I'm rich beyond belief doesn't mean I get out much.
Paris Hilton: I think that when I have kids that'll make me happier than I already am.
Translation: Since my happiness is directly proportional to the level of annoyance
I cause in other people, look out.