Friday, May 27, 2005 02:45:09 AM
TRANSLATIONS
Chris Tucker At The Michael Jackson Trial (Translated)
Our team of reporters with far too much time on their hands translated Chris Tucker's testimony at the Michael Jackson trial because they really didn't have anything better to do.
Chris Tucker: I told him to watch out for [the mother], because I felt suspicious about her.
Translation: I wasnât happy to see her. That WAS a gun in my pocket.
Chris Tucker: They did a lot of things that I didn't see, that my people were telling me to watch out.
Translation: Unfortunately, it was a little too late to duck that baseball bat coming.
Chris Tucker: The media was following them around, and they wanted to go out of town to find Michael. They found out he was in Miami and they wanted to go to Miami.
Translation: Then they found out he had $250 million dollars and they wanted that, too.
Chris Tucker: I would almost have to check his pockets before he'd leave my house.
Translation: I thought about strip-searching him like Michael might have done, just to make sure.
Chris Tucker: I took him in the room and I was trying to talk to him ... I said, 'Michael, something ain't right'.
Translation: I mean, why am I getting second billing to Jackie Chan, anyway?
The following piece was donated to postdocme.net by the Marshall Dunn Satire Emporium.
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