Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Sunday, May 15, 2005 07:00:15 AM
TRANSLATION Mark Geragos Takes The Stand
It was high-profile defense attorney Mark Geragos turn to take the stand at the Michael Jackson trial this Friday. Our team of so-called reporters with far too much time on their hands was there to record and translate what was said.
Mark Geragos: I thought they were going to try to shake him down.
Translation: Call it defense lawyer's intuition.
Mark Geragos: I went to college ... It wasn't a very distinguished academic career.
Translation: In other words, I had all the qualifications one needs to start an online satire site.
Mark Geragos: I didn't see anyone doing anything nefarious or criminal.
Translation: I was too busy plugging myself on Larry King.
Mark Geragos: He said he didn't do anything untoward or sexual and if anyone spent the night in his room it was unconditional love.
Translation: And they thought those lines couldn't be said with a straight face.
Mark Geragos: When I was there what I saw was a gentleman who was almost childlike in his love for kids.
Translation: No, seriously, don't try saying those lines with a straight face at home. It takes years of practice to get this good.
It was high-profile defense attorney Mark Geragos turn to take the stand at the Michael Jackson trial this Friday. Our team of so-called reporters with far too much time on their hands was there to record and translate what was said. 
