Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Saturday, May 07, 2005 12:52:44 PM
TRANSLATIONS Testimony from the Michael Jackson Trial
Due to parental controls, we are
unable to translate the more
graphic details of the Jackson trial.
But, as we pass the half-way point,
we can translate the more mundane
testimony -- minus the seriously salacious.
OK, maybe just the moderately salaciousâ¦
Debbie Rowe: I didn't want anyone to be able to
come back to me and say my interview was rehearsed.
Translation: Can I try that again? I didnât
sound convincing enough.
Debbie Rowe: All I knew is what was being put
out about Michael was hurtful to Michael and the children.
Translation: Thatâs why I divorced him before
he ran out of money.
Debbie Rowe: I was excited to see Michael and the
children.
Translation: Of course, I had to introduce myself
all over again.
Debbie Rowe: As Mr. Jackson knows, no one can tell me what to say. I speak my mind.
Translation: Ma-na-ma-naâ¦do dooo do do doâ¦.
Debbie Rowe: My personal life was my personal life and no one's business
Translation: Who knew those nude farm pictures would show up on the Internet?
Defense Witness Brett Barnes: I'm very mad about it. It's not true and they put my name through the dirt. I'm really not happy about it.
Translation: Read all about my anger in my new book, âRejected By Michael Jackson.â
Defense Witness Wade Robson: I would think something like that would wake me up.
Translation: It always has before.
Defense Witness Wade Robson: I believe he has sexual interest in women.
Translation: Even though we spent numerous nights together, it is rather ironic that on no occasion can I say he unequivocally expressed interest in females of any sort.
The preceding piece was presented to Chortler by the Marshall Dunn Satire Emporium.
Due to parental controls, we are
unable to translate the more
graphic details of the Jackson trial.
But, as we pass the half-way point,
we can translate the more mundane
testimony -- minus the seriously salacious.
OK, maybe just the moderately salaciousâ¦
