Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Friday, April 01, 2005 06:21:36 AM
TRANSLATIONS Britney Spears Letter To False Tabloids Translated
This Wednesday pop diva Britney Spears posted a biting letter on her Web site that was directed at certain segments of the press. Today we offer of translation of what she meant to say:
Britney: Dear False Tabloids,
Translation: Dear Chortler,
Britney: As you read this letter.
Translation: As you unbuckle your belts, drool and gaze with uncontrollable lust at the salacious pictures of me on my Web site.
Britney: Your employees are a reflection of your magazine.
Translation: Your magazine looks like a prematurely bald guy in his pyjamas.
Britney: I hope you are asking yourself a lot of questions.
Translation: I am also hoping for a Nobel Prize in Physics.
Britney: Do you want employees who are honest, or those who are liars?
Translation: As you can see, I actually do know what a rhetorical question is.
Britney: I'm really concerned about the people you hire to work at your companies.
Translation: If there is one thing I fear more than anything it's being the subject of ridicule for a Budapest-based online satire magazine
read only by the editor's mother -- and even that's not for sure.
Britney: I'd like them to ask themselves the question, "What am I lying to myself about?" Is it that you are 50 pounds overweight?
Translation: Don't answer a question with a question.
Britney: P.S. People Magazine is great in my book!
Translation: P.S. Is it any wonder that most Americans still believe Saddam had WMD?
This Wednesday pop diva Britney Spears posted a biting letter on her Web site that was directed at certain segments of the press. Today we offer of translation of what she meant to say:
