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March 14 has always been a special day for me.
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Valentine's Day is the perfect time to show your
affection for another person -- provided the
other person engages in non-homosexual,
non-extramarital sex no more than once every five years.
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Hopefully not all my equipment will crash this Valentine's Day
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Valentine's Day, to me, means spending time with the woman I love ... well ... okay ... Teresa.
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I just love spending Valentine's with whatever the the hell the name is of the guy I'm married to.
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There is nothing in the world like Valentine's Day to bring a smile to my face.
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I'm just crazy about f**king Valentine's Day.
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Valentine's Day fills me with romantic thoughts --
like blowing other countries up into smithereens.
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