Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005 09:12:23 AM
THE WRITTEN WORD The Alan Greenspan-Paris Hilton Love Letters
Given our strict policy of not keeping any detail of the lives of public figures secret,
we present the following romantic email correspondence between Alan Greenspan and Paris Hilton:
Paris, my bespangled genus Rosa, how do I commence this electronic missive when my terminal digits flutter with amative excitation?
You're hot!!!
Like the luminous cosmopolitan centrum of Gallic governance from which your moniker derives, I find my constitution conjuring connotations of consensual concupiscent connections.
Far out!!!
Thy taciturnity in composition leaves me replete with corporeal yearning.
Dude!!!
Paris, my beacon of electromagnetic illumination, when would it be most feasible to establish an assemblage vis-a-vis our respective personages?
Wha?
At which continuous nonspatial demarcation of eventual developments can our individual beings converge?
Huh?
Could a congregation of our persons potentially and practicably transpire?
Whatever, I guess.
My romanticistic expectations vis-a-vis year-on-year prognostications going forward have undertaken a dramatic elevation of plausibly irrational exuberance. I bid thee adieu, oh laconic object of my affectionateness.
