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Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
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Monday, March 14, 2005 03:00:08 AM
WORLD EVENTS
George W. Bush's Speech To The Canadian People Translated into English
Bush: We're united in part by the daily contact of commerce, and both our nations are better off for it.
Translation: The export of toques and Nanaimo Bars to the United States has never been more prosperous.
Bush: The energetic defense of our nations is an important duty.
Translation: Hey, with NHL players locked out, let's put those guys back to work somehow.
Bush: Canada's leadership is helping to build a better world.
Translation: Canada has just announced that it has banned all further Celine Dion Christmas albums.
Bush: Our nations play independent roles in the world, yet our purposes are complementary.
Translation: We sell, you buy.
Bush: My country is determined to work as far as possible within the framework of international organizations.
Translation: Hey, don't look at me. I don't write this stuff.
Bush: I hope to foster a wide international consensus.
Translation: Liechtenstein is already on board â¦
Bush: America always prefers to act with allies at our side.
Translation: Tanzania said it might consider helping us â¦
Bush: Multilateral organizations can do great good in the world.
Translation: And don't forget Poland.
Bush: The United States and Canada face common threats in our world.
Translation: There are reports circulating about a sequel to Gigli.
Bush: Thank you. (Applause.)
Translation: I could have just recited Bulgarian rap lyrics backwards and you'd applaud. You're Canadians.
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