Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Monday, March 14, 2005 02:49:32 AM
CAMPAIGN 2004 A Translation of the George W. Bush Acceptance Speech
Bush: The voters turned out in record numbers and delivered a historic victory.
Translation: My daddy lost the election after winning the first Iraq war and look at me -- I won by losing.
Bush: Today I want to speak to every person who voted for my opponent. To make this nation stronger and better, I need your support, and I will work hard to earn it.
Translation: On second thought, who needs you losers?
Bush: Senator Kerry waged a spirited campaign and he and his supporters can be proud of their efforts.
Translation: As usual they set out to be winners then flip-flopped.
Bush: I will do all I can do to deserve your trust. ... We have one country, one Constitution and one future that binds us.
Translation: U.S. über alles! U.S. über alles!
Bush: And when we come together and work together, there is no limit to the greatness of America.
Translation: But with me in the lead, how low can you go?
Bush: America has spoken, and I'm humbled by the trust and confidence of my fellow citizens.
Translation: I wish Karl Rove and Cheney had as much confidence in me.
The preceding piece was donated to Chortler by the Marshall Dunn Satire Emporium.
