Tuesday, December 21, 2004 07:47:45 PM
ADVICE
Ask Dick Cheney, August 10, 2004
Dear Dick,
Sometimes when I am in a public setting I get out of control and I
can't help but let out a primal scream. What do you suggest would help me keep my emotions in order?
- Howard from Vermont
Dear Howard,
What the f**k is the matter with you? Get a f**king grip. As someone who is in the public eye, you can't just say whatever you f**king feel like saying whenever you f**king well please.
Dear Dick,
There was a time when I was the most talked about person in America. Nowadays hardly anyone remembers -- let alone mentions -- my name.
- Gary Condit
Dear Gary,
Never f**king heard of ya. And as if I would give a f**king s**t if I had.
Dear Dick,
Where have all the flowers gone
Long time passin'?
Where have all the flowers gone
A long, long time ago?
- Jacques from France
Dear Jacques,
Hey, here's a suggestion for you, pal. Why don't you and the rest of your sissy-talking, hair-legged, cheese-eating surrender monkey friends go f**k yourself?
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