Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Monday, March 14, 2005 02:51:02 AM
TRANSLATIONS Ted Kennedy Convention Speech Translated Into English
Kennedy: The administration has alienated long-time allies. Instead of making America more secure, they have made us less so. They have made it harder to win the real war on terrorism, the war against al Qaeda. None of this had to happen.
Translation: Bush. BAAADDD!!!!
Kennedy: I have known John Kerry for three decades. I have known him as a soldier, as a peacemaker, as a prosecutor, as a senator, and as a friend. And in every role he has shown his strengths. He was the right man for every tough task and he is the right leader for this time in history.
Translation: Kerry GGOOOODDD!!!!
Kennedy: Our struggle is with those who put their own narrow interest ahead of the public interest.
Translation: Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can.
Kennedy: Interdependence defines our world. For all our might, for all our wealth, we know we are only as strong as the bonds we share with others.
Translation: Imagine all the people, sharing all the world.
Kennedy: So much of the progress we once achieved has been turned back. So much of the good will America once enjoyed in the world has been lost. But we are a hopeful nation, and our values and our optimism are still burning bright.
Translation: You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one.
Kennedy: The goals of the American people are every bit as high as they were more than 200 years ago.
Translation: But our president isn't nearly as high as he was just 20 years ago.
Kennedy: My pursuit is public service, not the constant pursuit of the presidency.
Translation: You'll notice I'm not running any marathons, either.
Kennedy: I intend to stay in this job until I get the hang of it.'
Translation: Vote for me in 2068.
The preceding piece was donated to Chortler by the Marshall Dunn Satire Emporium.
