Tuesday, December 21, 2004 07:47:01 PM
ADVICE
The Dick Cheney Advice Column for July 27, 2004
Dear Dick,
I have this friend George. For some reason I feel compelled to do whatever George tells me, even though I know it is not the right thing. I want to tell George my feelings but he never listens to me. What should I do?
- Tony in London
Dear Tony,
Stop being such a f***ing whiner and do as you're told.
Dear Dick,
I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL."
- Don
Dear Don,
You're our boy.
Dear Dick,
Can I go to sleep now?
- George
Dear George,
Not until you've done something to upset three more countries.
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