Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004 07:46:40 PM
ADVICE The Dick Cheney Advice Column
Dear Dick,
I seem to have developed a rotten case of the blues recently. Nothing I do
seems to get me out of this dark mood and I just mope around the house all day unable to shake this gloomy cloud that pervades my life.
- Depressed in Wichita
Dear Depressed in Wichita,
Get off your g*dd**n lazy f**king @$$ you useless p**sy and get a f**king life.
Dear Dick,
I have been seeing this wonderful woman for the last 23 years. I think it might be time to ask her to marry me. Yet somehow I can't seem to work up the courage. What should I do?
- Confused in Tampa
Dear Confused,
I gotta be honest here. I don't give a flying f**k about you or your problem.
Dear Dick,
There's this guy at work who keeps hurling expletives in my direction whenever he sees me. I've tried to approach him about this and resolve it in a gentlemanly manner but he refuses. What would you advise?
- Pat from Vermont
Dear Pat,
Why do have to keep bugging me with these f**king stupid letters? Can't you find some other way to &#^Y$ yourself?
