Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Monday, March 14, 2005 02:51:35 AM
TRANSLATIONS President George W. Bush Translated (Yet Again) Into English
Although we don't have a transcript of what he said
to the 9/11 commission, we do have a few quotes
from President Bush's session with the press
at the Rose Garden to give us some insight into what went on behind closed doors.
Bush: I answered every question they asked.
Translation: You talkin' to me?
Bush: I was never advised by my counsel not to answer anything.
Translation: I figured that out all by myself.
Bush: If we had something to hide, we wouldn't have met with them in the first place.
Translation: Heaven knows we tried like hell to get out of all this.
Bush: The vice president answered a lot of their questions â answered all their questions.
Translation: I had a nice nap this morning.
Bush: I came away feeling good about the session, because I wanted them to know, you know, how I set strategy, how we run the White House, how we deal with threats.
Translation: It's kind of a cross between Jethro and Gilligan being in charge.
Bush: I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I took the time. ... I enjoyed it.
Translation: Boring!!!
Bush: There was a lot of interest about how to better protect America. In other words, they're very interested in the recommendations that they're going to lay out.
Translation: What I say doesn't even make sense in the written form, does it?
Bush: I think it was important for them to see our body language as well, how we work together.
Translation: Hey, check out this new shoulder shrug Cheney taught me!
The preceding piece was donated to Chortler by the Marshall Dunn Satire Emporium.
Although we don't have a transcript of what he said
to the 9/11 commission, we do have a few quotes
from President Bush's session with the press
at the Rose Garden to give us some insight into what went on behind closed doors.
